Super-Abridged Bible: Esther

Ahashverosh (king of Persia) gives a 180 day banquet to his nobles, with Vashti (his wife)giving a parallel women’s banquet. Ahashverosh orders Vashti to come so he can show her off, she refuses. His advisors say that because of her wives around Persia will feel justified in disobeying their husbands with impunity. He banishes her and declares a search for a new wife. Mordechai the Jew lives with Esther (his foster-daughter). Esther is taken to the palace because of her beauty, keeping her Jewishness secret as Mordechai instructs. After the 12 month perfume-bathing period, she’s taken to see Ahashverosh. He likes her more than all other virgins he’s seen, making her queen.

Mordechai overhears two eunuchs plotting to kill Ahashverosh and reports them. They are killed. Ahashverosh appoints Haman as his chief officials, with everyone being required to bow to him. Mordechai refuses, on the account of being Jewish. Haman is enraged decides to have all Persian Jews killed. He tells Ahashverosh: “There’s a people scattered across Persia with laws contrary your laws. It’s not in your interest to keep them; if you decree their extermination, I’ll deposit 10,000 talents in the treasury.” Ahashverosh agrees, sending instructions across Persia: people are to massacre all Jews on an upcoming fixed date, and plunder their property.

Persian Jews are in mourning; Mordechai wears sackcloth. Mordechai gets Esther’s eunuch servant to tell her of the decree so she can plead with Ahashverosh. Esther replies that anyone going to see the king uninvited is put to death unless Ahashverosh uses his scepter. Mordechai replies: “If the decree is implemented, you’ll be killed anyway, but so will all Jews. Perhaps you were made queen just for this reason.” Esther fasts and asks that all Jews fast on her behalf.

Esther goes in and Ahashverosh gives his scepter. Instead of being direct, Esther invites Ahashverosh and Haman to a feast. There, Ahashverosh asks again what her wish is. Esther says she’ll tell them at the next day’s feast. On the way out, Haman passes Mordechai who does not salute him. Haman tells his wife Zeresh that his honours count for nothing if even one man isn’t sufficiently deferential to him. Zeresh tells him to construct a stake and at the next day’s feast to ask Ahashverosh to impale Mordechai on it.

Ahashverosh reads in his records that Mordechai saved his life but hadn’t been rewarded. He asks Haman (who’s about to ask for Mordechai’s life): “What should be done to the man whom the king wants to honour?”. Haman describes a parade, thinking Ahashverosh is talking about him. Ahashverosh tells him to honour Mordechai in this exact way. Haman is forced to do this. When he tells Zeresh, she says if she knew Mordechai was Jewish she’d have never advised him to go against him since Haman can’t win against a Jew.

Ahashverosh and Haman go to Esther’s second feast. Ahashverosh says he’ll grant her any wish. Esther asks for her life since there’s a decree that her people are to be exterminated shortly. Ahashverosh asks who’s responsible for this; Esther points at Haman. Ahashverosh leaves in anger. Haman (fearing for his life) collapses on Esther’s couch. Ahashverosh returns to see Haman there and thinks that on top of everything, Haman wanted to “ravish” his wife. A eunuch brings to Ahashverosh’s attention that Haman had a stake built [for Mordechai]; Ahashverosh has Haman impaled on it.

Esther begs Ahashverosh to stop Haman’s plot. Ahashverosh says the extermination edict was sealed with his seal and hence can’t be revoked. He lets her write what she needs to fix things and seal it with his seal. Mordechai dictates letters to every province saying Ahashverosh is allowing the Jews to defend themselves (on the chosen day) and to counter-massacre anyone who tries to harm them. The Jews enjoy great honours. Even some non-Jews start claiming to be Jews because of a fear of the Jews’ counter-attacks.

When the day comes, the Jews fight back against those who rise up to kill them. Esther asks Ahashverosh to allow a second day of fighting back. In total, the Jews kill 75,000 people (including Haman’s 10 sons), taking no property. A celebration feast is held. Mordechai writes to all Jewish communities telling them to hold it annually (ie. the Jewish festival of Purim). Mordechai becomes Ahashverosh’s right-hand man and the Jews are well-respected.

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