Chapters 1-10: David becoming king; his early reign
An Amalekite claims to David that he finished off Saul at Saul’s request (to spare him the agony). Realising Saul and Jonathan are dead David rends his clothes, and kills the Amalekite for daring to strike Saul. David sings a mourning song for Saul and Jonathan (“how the mighty have fallen”) that has another romantic allusions (“My brother Jonathan/you were most dear to me/your love was wonderful to me/more than the love of women”).
Avner (Saul’s old army commander) installs Saul’s son Ish-bosheth as king. The tribe of Judah however accepts David so the two reign in parallel. One day Avner meets Joab (commander of David’s army) and their men battle it out. Joav’s brother Asahel chases Avner. Avner begs Asahel to stop since otherwise he’ll be forced to kill him. Asahel keeps going so Avner thrusts his spear backward and runs him through. Avner then asks Joav for a truce, to stop people killing their fellow Israelites.
Avner sleeps with Ish-Bosheth’s concubine. Ish-Bosheth rebukes him but Avner threatens him. From this, Avner sends messengers to David, asking for peace in exchange for helping David become king of all Israel. David’s condition was that his wife Michal be taken back from her current husband. This happens over the husband’s weeping. David makes a feast for Avner. When Joav finds out he is furious David let Avner get away alive, claiming he’s a trickster. Joav takes Avner aside and stabs him, avenging Asahel.
David is furious and publicly proclaims the guilt is Joav’s alone. David attends Avner’s funeral, fasts and orders Joav to mourn over Avner too. This convinces the people that David didn’t order Avner’s assassination. Meanwhile Ish-Bosheth’s commanders, eager to curry favour with David, cut off their boss’s head and bring it to David. Instead of thanks, David kills them as well and buries Ish-Bosheth with Avner. With all his opponents eliminated, Israel accept David as king.
David captures Jerusalem from the Jebusites and takes many wives and concubines. The Philistines attack but are defeated. David makes Jerusalem his capital and arranges for the Ark to be brought there. However, the oxen drawing the cart stumble and a man grabs the Ark to stop it from falling. YHWH is angry at the man and kills him. David diverts the Ark to the house of a non-Israelite for 3 months out of fear. Finally, he brings it to Jerusalem with many sacrifices and gifts to the public. Michal sees David dance before the Ark and hates him. She sarcastically asks if he had fun demeaning his kingly dignity before all the slavegirls. David answers that since YHWH chose him as king and not her father Saul, it’s an honour for the people to see him dance before YHWH’s Ark, even if she personally scorns him. Michal has no children to her dying day.
David thinks it unseemly for him to live in a palace while the Ark is in a tent. He wants to build a temple for YHWH. YHWH replies (through Nathan the prophet) that the Ark was fine in a tent for many decades and that it will be David’s son who will build the Temple. YHWH promises to never withdraw his favour from David’s dynasty as he withdrew from Saul. David praises YHWH.
David defeats the Moabites, making them lie down on the ground. He measures 2 lengths of cord for people he kills for every length of people to be spared. When he defeats another army, their enemies send David presents that he dedicates to YHWH. He rules over Israel with justice.
David enquires if any descendant of Saul is still alive. He finds out there’s still Jonathan’s crippled son Mephibosheth. He orders him brought to the court, gives him a stipend and lets him eat at his table daily in honour of Jonathan.
The father of the king of Ammon’s dies. David sends courtiers to offer condolences. The king’s courtiers convince him that they’re simply David’s spies and he has them killed. A war ensues and Joav leads the Israelites to victory.
Chapters 11-14: David and Bathsheba, the rape of Tamar
One day David sees a beautiful woman bathing from the roof of his palace in Jerusalem. He finds out she’s Bathsheba, wife of Uriah the Hittite (ie. a non-Israelite). Uriah being out at war with Joav, David has Bathsheba brought to him, has sex with her and gets her pregnant. When David finds out, he sends a message to Joav to give Uriah leave. When Uriah arrives, he tells him to go home and “bathe his feet” (wink wink). However, Uriah sleeps at the palace door. The next day David is angry but Uriah says he can’t sleep with his wife when Joav and his fellow soldiers are sleeping out in the open. The next night David gets Uriah drunk but still he does not go home. David sends Uriah back to Joav with a letter, instructing Joav to put Uriah at the front of the battle and then retreat so that Uriah is killed.
Joav does this but the manouvre costs many other Israelite lives. David tells Joav (through a messenger) not to worry about the “collateral damage” as every battle has casualties. He marries Bathsheba and a son is born. YHWH is angry with David and sends Nathan to rebuke him. Nathan tells him of a poor man with but one lamb and a rich man with many lambs who kills the poor man and takes his lamb. Not realising this is a parable, David orders the man to die. “You are that man,” says Nathan. YHWH’s message is that he will avenge Uriah by making David’s troubles arise out of his own house.
David instantly accepts responsibility and YHWH relents and decides not to kill him, but as punishment the newborn will die. David fasts and prays for a whole week but the child dies. At this point, David starts eating and stops mourning, telling his courtiers that he originally thought perhaps YHWH will have pity on him but now that he knows it’s too late, what’s the point in mourning? David and Bathsheba have another son they call Solomon. Meanwhile, Joav captures more towns and David puts their inhabitants “under saws, and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron” and makes them pass through the brick kiln. [Many modern editions translate it that David “set them to work with saws, iron threshing boards” etc, it seems ambiguous whether it’s torture or forced labour but given the rest of the book, I wouldn’t rule torture out.]
David’s son Amnon falls in love with his half-sister Tamar. His friend tells him to pretend he’s sick and when David visits ask to see Tamar and eat some cakes made by her. Amnon does this but then comes onto Tamar. She rejects him and warns him not to force her as it’s a vile thing to be done in Israel. Still, Amnon rapes her. His lust turns to contempt and throws her out despite her pleas that it will cause great shame. She tells her brother Absalom about this; Absalom starts to hate Amnon but bides his time. David also hears this, is very upset but doesn’t do anything.
Two years later, Absalom has his flocks sheared and invites all the king’s sons. David says such a large number of people will be a burden to him. Absalom then asks for Amnon to come by himself but David sends all his sons (apparently worried about retribtion). When Amnon arrives, Absalom gets his servants to kill him. The other princes flee to David while Absalom is on the run.
David gets over Amnon’s death and starts to pine for Absalom’s absence as well. Joav sees this and gets a woman to come to David with a fake “case”: one of her sons killed another and people are demanding the murderer be put to death even though this will deprive her family of an heir. David says his son should live, at which point the woman reveals that this is the same as David’s situation and that Joav put her up to it. David tells Joav to bring Absalom back to his house (but without presenting him to David). Absalom lives for 2 years without seeing David. He tries to get Joav to arrange a meeting but Joav refuses. He has Joav’s fields set alight to bring attention to how miserable he is at home without reconciliation. Joav arranges a meeting and Absalom is reconciled with David.
Chapters 15-19: Absalom’s rebellion
Absalom becomes renowned for his beauty and luxurious hair and begins to ride a fancy chariot. Every day, he begins to stand outside city gates to meet people who’d come in to have their case judged before the king. He’d tell them the king has not allocated anyone to hear the case but if only he Absalom were king, he’d make sure they get a fair hearing — thus stealing the hearts of Israel. Emboldened, Absalom goes to Hebron and has himself pronounced king. Because he has the people’s support, David decides to flee. He leaves a servant Hushai to pretend to switch allegiance to Absalom so he can get some inside information for David.
On the way out, Ziba (Mephibosheth’s servant) gives David some supplies. When Ziba says that Mephibosheth is comfortably sitting in Jerusalem, David transfers all of Mephibosheth’s possessions to Ziba instead of the son. A man called Shimei starts throwing stones at David and insulting him, saying YHWH is paying David back for the crime of siezing the throne of Saul. A servant offers David to cut off Shimei’s head but David says it’s only because YHWH is making Shimei abuse him and perhaps the fact that he’s suffering in silence at the abuse will cleanse his sins.
Absalom arrives in Jerusalem. Ahitophel (formerly David’s advisor) has switched loyalties and advises Absalom to have sex with all of David’s concubines that he did not take with him, which Absalom does. Ahitophel also advises Absalom send some soldiers now to overtake David and kill him. Hushai however tells Absalom to wait to gather more troops. YHWH makes Absalom takes Hushai’s advice to bring about Absalom’s ruin. Ahitophel goes home and hangs himself. Hushai sends a warning to David.
Absalom and his army pursue David, whose army is fed by a man called Barzilai. They hide in a forest and David divides his troops into three sections. He asks Joav to deal gently with Absalom for David’s sake. David’s army deals a blow to Absalom’s army. As Absalom is riding his mule through the forest, his luxurious hair gets entangled in some branches. The mule goes out from under him but Absalom stays, dangling in mid-air. A soldier who sees this but dares not kill the king’s son (especially after David said to be gentle) but tells Joav instead. Joav puts three darts through Absalom’s chest but this is not enough; the troops finish him off. Absalom is put into a pit in the forest with a heap of stones over it. Messengers tell David and he weeps bitterly, wishing that he had died instead of Absalom.
Joav hears this, comes to David and tells him off for humiliating his followers who have saved his life and sacrificed their lives to put down Absalom’s rebellion and that if he doesn’t show the troops some gratitude they’ll all desert him. David takes Joav’s advice and stops weeping to thank his army. Joav negotiates peace with Amasa, Absalom’s army commander.
On the way back to Jerusalem, Shimei apologises for insulting David. David says nobody in Israel will die today and swears he won’t kill Shimei. (See however the start of 1 Kings where David simply orders his son Solomon to kill Shimei.) David asks Mephibosheth why he didn’t come with him. Mephibosheth says that he was going to until Ziba took all his provisions and donkeys to find David and pretend Mephibosheth has turned against him. David realises he believed Zeba’s Ziba’s slander and gives back half of Mephibosheth’s property. David wants to reward Barzilai but he says since he’s an old man there’s no point and offers another man in his stead to take the reward.
Chapters 20-24: Final years of David’s reign
David puts the 10 concubines Absalom slept with in seclusion until their death. As soon as he returns a man called Sheba starts another rebellion. Joav besieges the town Sheba is hiding in and convinces a woman in the town to have him beheaded and throw his head over the wall to stop the siege. On the way, Joav meets Amasa alone and says “how are you, brother?” catching him off guard and siezing him by the beard with one hand while stabbing him in the stomach with the other.
YHWH sends a famine for 3 years. When David enquires, YHWH says it’s because there’s bloodguilt on Saul’s house for him trying to wipe out the Gibeonites (see Joshua for the oath he made for their safety). David finds out the Gibeonites will only be appeased by being handed over all of Saul’s descendants for them to kill. David does this, sparing only Mephibosheth since he’s sworn an oath not to kill him. He then has them buried in their ancestral grave, and moves the bones of Saul and Jonathan there as well. There is war with the Philistines again and Elhanan kills Goliath (again, see 1 Samuel).
David’s psalm of praise for YHWH saving him from all his enemies is given (almost the same as Psalm 18): YHWH is David’s deliverer, scatters his enemies no matter how strong. I David have always kept YHWH’s way and been blameless before him. YHWH is my rock, my lamp, my shield etc. Once during the Philistine war, David is in the camp and feels a craving for water. Three warriors sneak into the Philistine camp and carry back water. David refuses to drink it since it would be like drinking the blood of those who risked their lives to get it — instead he pours it as a libation to YHWH. The commanders of David’s army are listed.
YHWH commands David to number the Israelites as a pretext to punishing Israel. YHWH sends a plague for this sin, of which David repents. The prophet Gad warns of a 7 year famine, and kills 70,000. When YHWH’s angel is about to strike Jerusalem YHWH stops the angel. David demands that only he be punished since the sin is his. The angel is on a man’s threshing floor; David buys it from him along with some oxen and makes a sacrifice. The plague is checked.
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