We are all guilty of slacking off. You know it and I know it.
We justify these activities by downplaying their harm. Our language reflects the seeming innocence of “taking a break”, but in reality this masks a whole lot of evil.
As even the most common individual [who’s attended the London School of Economics] knows, productivity is the backbone of an economy. This is why Qatar is the most dedicated, hardworking country in the world and the Democratic Republic of Congo is the laziest. There’s simply no other explanation and anyone who says otherwise is simply trying to justify their own laziness.
Lack of productivity therefore kills. By slacking off, not only do we not fulfill your potential and steal time from our employers, we could also be helping our country plunge into an abyss of laziness-induced poverty.
With that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of easy lifehacks to help us get more out of our day:
Get up early
Successful people are early risers. You are not likely to notice 10 minutes less of sleep but added up over a year, it could add up to an extra 40 hour week you’re gifting your employer!
A mechanical clock saying: remember time lost cannot be regained
Work when everyone’s asleep
The obligation to reply to emails and follow up on tasks can be unbearable. However, if you outpace your coworkers by working during the middle of the night, you will get the quiet distraction-free environment you need. Unless your coworkers are reading this very article and shifting their schedules too, 4am will be your most productive time — until you get up early that is.
Monty Burns talking to schoolkids in front of an ‘I’m high on capitalism’ poster, saying: Family, religion, friendship
Avoid distractions
Every day you are flooded with information begging to be read and people mooching for your time. Finding a way to filter these is the key to productivity. Put the phone away — your family can wait. An easy trick I’ve learned is to uninstall non-work-based apps to make sure that fidgeting hands aren’t drawn into temptation. Many people have heard of the “swear jar”. I keep a jar for internet use. Every time I notice that I’m wasting time chatting online with a friend, I put a dollar in the jar. This is then donated to a cause I hate. It’s easy to reeducate yourself if you are properly incentivised.
Monty Burns continues: ‘These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business’
Maximise desk time
When you’re on a roll, you should be doing things that are most productive — not wasting time on little things. Consider reading and replying to emails on the go while on public transport or driving (with the easy integration of a voice-recognition app). That way when you’re at the office you’re doing real work. Food can be ordered online, delivered to your office and the receptionist can deliver it to your desk. Google Glass can allow you to perform those fiddly tasks without looking up from your main screen or diverting valuable attention on multitasking. Put on a beer hat loaded with a protein shake with vitamin supplements. Even catheters or adult diapers have their place in the arsenal of the successful worker.
How to work better: 1. Do one thing at a time 2. Know the problem 3. Learn to listen 4. Learn to ask questions 5. Distinguish sense from nonsense 6. Accept change as inevitable 7. Admit mistakes 8. Say it simple 9. Be calm 10. Smile
Delegate, delegate, delegate
Behind every successful entrepreneur is a substantial [under]class of professional helpers. You must utilise this underclass in a way that puts you ahead of the pack. That’s why you should delegate the tasks of the day that don’t directly contribute to your bottom line — whether to your wife, maid, PA, driver or squire. Remember, everyone might have a maid but it’s about how you use her!
Paperclips spelling out HELP
Make time for the things that matter
It’s important not to get too caught up in improving productivity at all costs while you’re engaged in improving productivity at all costs. Besides, spending an occasional surprise afternoon with your kids will let you give your maid the afternoon off. It is such acts of charity and compassion that make life worth living and will remind you of how blessed you truly are.
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