A Curmudgeon’s Downfall (1Samuel 3-4)

[continued from previous post]–Samuel’s a lad, helping out in the Temple where the Ark was. He’s sleeping and hears the voice of God calling out to him. In those days, prophecy was rare (YHWH engaging in a hissy-fit with an embargo of silence?) so Samuel doesn’t know what’s going on. He thinks it’s Eli so he gets up and runs to him asking what Eli wants. “I didn’t call you,” says Eli. Little Samuel goes back to sleep and it happens again. Again he’s sent back. On the third try, Eli wises up to who’s calling Samuel. He tells him to answer that he is ready to hear and Samuel gets his first prophecy.

This is a story where a Biblical author uses drama pretty well — I find this typical for the book of Samuel. Other books are a lot sloppier and muck up any tension but this is pretty good. There’s one tiny problem — what Temple?? The Temple will be built by Solomon many decades later in Jerusalem. At the moment the Ark is just in its temporary placeholder in Shiloh. Perhaps it’s referring to some temporary structure around the Ark? In any case, it’s a bizarre unexplained bit.

And what does God tell Samuel (the boy)? Basically he repeats the prophesy from the last chapter: I will destroy the house of Eli because of his sons’ disregard for the sacrifices. Only in this case God is telling a child “I will destroy your benefactor” — what a trauma-inducing asshole this YHWH is! Of course Eli’s no saint himself but he would have taken care of Samuel. Then there’s the little problem of God saying Eli is punished because he didn’t rebuke his sons — but checking the last chapter he certainly did. Maybe not too vigorously but this YHWH bends the truth a bit.

And just to stop your tender feelings towards Eli, he goes back to being a curmudgeonly old man. He asks Samuel what the prophesy was but threatens him: “And he said: ‘What is the thing that He hath spoken unto thee? I pray thee, hide it not from me, God do so to thee, and more also, if thou hide any thing from me of all the things that He spoke unto thee.’ (3:17)”. Modern versions spell out the subtler “do so to thee” and say “may God strike you dead”. What a nice father figure! Of course Eli isn’t just an ass, he’s a monopolist. It appears he might be interested in being the sole possessor of YHWH’s word so the idea of someone else “scooping” him makes him uncomfortable.

So YHWH proceeds to carry out his prophecy of spiting Eli. Since he’s unworthy of taking care of the Ark, that’s YHWH’s best plan to punish Eli? Have the Philistines capture the Ark from Israel and kill 30,000 Israelite foot soldiers. Eli of course remains alive but must surely have been put in his place by the “obey or the puppy gets it” attitude when the battle comes.

30,000 Israelites dead? For comparison, the fabulously-famous epic Battle of Kadesh between the Egyptians and Hittites in 1274 BCE has 20,000 Egyptians losing to 50,000 Hittites. Methinks the authors of Samuel tend to slightly exaggerate.

So Eli is back home, “his heart trembling for the Ark of God” (4:13) — but evidently not for his sons who are in the battle too. A messenger comes and relates that both his sons are dead (as the prophecy predicted) and the Ark captured. Eli falls off his chair from the shock and dies from breaking his neck. I have to hand it to the Bible — it’s most poetic and effective when describing death.

Just to close out this episode, the wife of Phinehas (one of Eli’s sons) gives birth shortly after finding out he’s dead. To mourn the loss of the Ark (which again is so much more important than her husband) she names her son Ichabod. Meaning “the glory has departed from Israel” — according to the text. If you think some parents give their kids thoughtless names that cause them to be bullied at school, spare a thought for poor little Ichabod!

So, back to the Ark of the covenant, which–[to be continued]

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