Super-Abridged Bible: Numbers

Chapters 1-10 (Some laws, Israel start their wanderings)

YHWH tells Moses to perform a census of all war-fit men (age 20 and above). The Levites are not included since they’re in charge of YHWH’s Tabernacle. The numbers are listed, each tribe has about 30k-60k fighting men. YHWH spells out the battle formation for all the tribes. The grand total is an incredible (literally!) 603,550. YHWH then orders a special census of the Levites, assigns each clan a specific task in the Tabernacle and gives instructions for dismantling it.

Anyone unclean is to be removed from the camp until clean. When a man is paying the 120% restitution (see Leviticus), if the victim can’t be paid (eg. dead), the money goes to the priests’ upkeep. If a man suspects his wife of adultery but there are no witnesses for a charge, he brings her to a priest along with a flour-offering. The priest takes earth from the Tabernacle, puts it in a jar of water, bares the woman’s head and warns her that if she is innocent she will be immune from the water, but if she’s guilty, YHWH will cause her thigh to sag and belly to distend. The priest writes this curse in a scroll and dissolves it in the water, then makes the woman drink. Then YHWH fulfils the curse.

A person can make a Nazirite vow (for a fixed period) concecrating himself to YHWH. He abstains from alcohol, shaves no hair and doesn’t make himself impure for the dead (even his parents). If the vow is broken, he must offer sacrifices. Otherwise at the period’s end, he brings a burnt offering and sin offering and the restrictions end.

YHWH teaches Aaron’s sons the priestly blessing to say over Israelites. The Tabernacle is finished so Moses dedicates it: each day for 12 days the chieftain of a different tribe brings gifts and sacrifices. Each tribe gives the same the Bible repeats the list 12 times. YHWH explains how to cleanse the Levites and priests to get them ready for the Tabernacle service and it begins. The Levites are to serve from age 25 to 50, after which they retire and can only help by standing guard when needed.

It’s now a year since the Exodus so it’s time for Passover again. Some people are unclean. They ask Moses what to do about offering the Passover sacrifice. YHWH answers that they should offer it a month later (ie. establishing a Second Passover) when they are clean.

YHWH gets the Israelites to set up war trumpets so the camp can move. They finally leave Mt Sinai being guided by YHWH’s cloud each day. Moses asks his father in law Hobab to stay (even though in Exodus his father in law Jethro has already left…) but he wants to go home.

Chapters 11-20 (Israelites complain and YHWH punishes them — at least 6 times)

The Israelites complain; YHWH surrounds the camp with fire. The “riffraff” want to eat meat and start being nostalgic for all the vegetables in Egypt. They get the people worked up. Moses is upset with YHWH for giving him such a hard-going nation. YHWH says that since the people want meat he’ll give them meat: so much that it will start to come out of their noses (YHWH is snubbed by their nostalgia for Egypt). An enormous flock of quail falls from the sky. However, just to make sure, YHWH also strikes them with a plague.

Meanwhile two ordinary people start prophecying and speaking in tongues. Moses is told (assuming he’d be threatened) but says that he only wishes everyone else would be filled with YHWH’s spirit. Miriam and Aaron speak against Moses for marrying a Cushite woman, saying YHWH’s spoken to them too [so presumably they should be able to criticise Moses?]. YHWH is angry and says that Moses is the only one to whom he speaks plainly (and not in riddles). YHWH strikes Miriam with leprocy, Aaron repents. Miriam is shut out of the camp for 7 days.

YHWH asks Moses to send one spy/scout from each tribe, to see what Israel is like and do a military survey of the Canaanites. They find huge fruits and take back samples. They say the land is excellent but the Canaanites are very powerful with large fortified cities. Caleb is optimistic about conquering the land but the rest are scared, saying the land is filled with giants. They spread this pessimism to the Israelites, who become upset, wonder why YHWH brought them here, and even start talking about returning to Egypt. Moses and Aaron rend their clothes in mourning for such a public affont to YHWH. They try to restrain the Israelites but they almost get stoned.

YHWH’s presence appears, very angry and [again] wanting to destroy the nation and start afresh with Moses. Moses prays to YHWH for mercy and again appeals to YHWH’s vanity: “others will think you only killed the Israelites because you were powerless to bring them into Canaan!”. YHWH relents but decides none of them will live to see the land (except the spies Caleb and Joshua because they had faith), postponing the wanderings for another 40 years, until the next generation comes. YHWH also sends a plague to kill the 10 spies who badmouthed the land. The people repent and decide they *now* believe YHWH. They set off to Canaan, disregarding Moses’ plea that they’re disobeying YHWH yet again. They people get attacked by the Amalekites and Canaanites and driven back.

The wine and flour “side dishes” for each sacrifice type are given. Israelites and “strangers” who live among them shall all have the same laws and rituals. When in Israel, the people must tithe their bread as a gift to YHWH. A sin offering is only for unintentional sins, an intentional sin results in the sinner being “cut off from the people”. One day a man is found gathering sticks on the Sabbath. Moses asks YHWH what to do and is told to stone him. YHWH tells the people that their clothes must have fringes as a reminder to keep all the commandments.

Korah (a Levite) leads 250 people in a challenge to Moses and Aaron, saying they raise themselves above the others. Moses says they’ve gone too far: the Levites are already special in getting charge of the Tabernacle, does Korah demand the priesthood too? He says next morning they are to prepare pans with incense and see for themselves if YHWH will choose theirs over Moses’. They do this and YHWH comes, again threatening to kill the whole community. Moses retorts that this is collective punishment. Moses warns everyone to move away from the 250 challengers. He says that if they will die a supernatural death, this will be a sign that their deaths were caused by YHWH and that he’s on Moses’ side. The earth opens up and swallows up the 250 men, and their wives, children, tents and possessions.

The nation is angry at Moses for being the cause of deaths. Yet again YHWH wants to kill everyone. Moses tells Aaron to make an atoning sacrifice, to stop the plague YHWH’s about to send. The plague is stopped (after killing 14,700). Moses gets each tribe leader to put a staff outside the Tabernacle, with Aaron leaving his staff. The next morning everyone sees that Aaron’s staff has blossomed, Moses says this is another sign that YHWH is with him and Aaron, therefore they should obey.

YHWH gives the priests the charge of the sacrificial items and allocates them all the relevant firstborn animal donations (see Leviticus), and some others to all Levites. The Levites get pretty much all tithes (of which they tithe another 10% for the priests) as compensation for being consecrated to YHWH and hence having no tribal territory in Israel. The Israelites are to take an unblemished red cow, slaughter and burn it, gather its ashes with some herbs and dissolve this in water. This solution to cleanse those who are made unclean by a corpse. Those who do not cleanse themselves are cut off from the people. A corpse (or part thereof) passes its impurity to all objects inside the same tent as it. This includes the inside of any vessels that don’t have a lid. Those who are sprinkled with the water wash their clothes and remain unclean until evening but those who perform the cleansing ceremony themselves become unclean.

The Israelites come to a place with no water and complain again, asking why they were taken out of Egypt. YHWH tells Moses to take his staff and command a rock to produce water. Moses strikes the rock twice and water gushes forth. However YHWH is displeased that he did not trust in YHWH enough (presumably by not commanding the rock) and says that for this Moses will also not live to lead the Israelites into Israel.

Chapters 20-25 (the war campaign against the Canaanites begins)

Moses sends a message to the Edomites (descendants of Esau, see Genesis) asking permission to pass through their lands. They say no, even after Moses offers to take the back roads. They assemble an army to attack so the Israelites go around Edom.

YHWH announces that like Moses, Aaron will not enter Israel (because of the rock incident) and will die here. Aaron is stipped of his high priest’s clothes (see Exodus), Eleazar annointed as the new high priest. Aaron, Moses and Eleazar ascend the mountain that YHWH shows. Aaron dies there; Israel mourns him for 30 days.

A Canaanite king attacks the Israelites, who vow that if YHWH gives them victory they will proscribe the towns (ie. kill everything and sacrifice it to YHWH). YHWH comes through.

The Israelites complain (AGAIN) about the food and ask why they were taken from Egypt. YHWH sends a plague of serpents. The Israelites repent. Moses makes a copper serpent such that whoever looks at it is spared from the plague.

The Israelites ask the king of the Amorites to pass through his country. The king says no and attacks. Israel wins, takes a the Amorite towns and settles them. They also attack and defeat the king of Bashan.

Balak (the king of Moab) learns the Israelites are winning all their battles and is sacred for his country. He asks Balaam (a sorcerer) to curse the Israelites (since Balaam’s blessings and curses come true). Balaam consults YHWH who tells him to send the messengers away. More messengers come. YHWH tells Balaam he may go but only to speak what YHWH tells him.

Balaam departs on his donkey but now for some reason YHWH is angry he’s going and blocks the path with an angel. The donkey swerves to avoid the angel and stops despite Balaam beating it. YHWH gets the donkey to ask Balaam why he’s beating it. Balaam says he’s embarrassed that it’s making a mockery of him before Balak’s messengers. YHWH makes Balaam see the angel. He apologises and offers to turn back. YHWH allows him to go.

Balaam comes to Balak and asks for the power to freely say whatever YHWH tells him. Balak takes him to a lookout over the Israelite camp. YHWH says through Balaam that he cannot curse that which YHWH hasn’t cursed. Angry, Balak takes Balaam to another lookout. YHWH tells Balaam (in prophetic verse) that Israel will be victorious and blessed. Balak asks Balaam to neither curse nor bless Israel but Balaam says he can only repeat YHWH’s words verbatim. YHWH gives an elaborate third blessing that Israel will devour its enemies (including Moab), and that Amalek will perish. Balaam returns home.

The Israelites “whore after” Moabite women who ask them to worship Baal as part of the whoring. YHWH tells Moses to have the ringleaders impaled to ease YHWH’s wrath and quell the plague he is sending. One man brings a Midianite woman to the camp and takes her into his tent. Moses and the elders are at a loss for what to do and are weeping. But Phinehas takes a spear and kills them both. The plague is stopped at “just” 24,000 dead. YHWH rewards Phinehas and his descendants with the priesthood and commands Moses to attack the Midianites (yes, above it said Moabites) as revenge for their instigation of Baal worship.

Chapters 26-36 (revenge campaign, laws about settling Israel)

YHWH orders a new census, the 40 years of desert wandering apparently having passed and a new generation risen. Numbers of each tribe and clan are given. The daughters of Zelophehad come with a case before Moses: their father died in the wilderness and left no sons. Normally a daughter does not inherit, but this would mean his ancestral portion of Israel will be lost. They want to inherit hisland. Moses asks YHWH who agrees and gives a law: if there are no sons the inheritance goes to the daughters (then brothers, uncles and nearest relatives).

YHWH gets Moses to climb a mountain and see a part of Israel (since he will never enter it). YHWH gets him to annoint Joshua as his successor for when he dies. The daily and festival sacrifices are listed again) with the required wine/flour for each. A vow or oath made to YHWH can’t be broken. However if a woman makes a vow that displeases her father, he can annul it when he learns of it. This right passes to the husband upon marriage. The husband/father must annul it on the same day otherwise it stands.

YHWH gets Israel to go on the revenge campaign against Midian. Every Midianite male is killed (including Balaam). Israelites take captive all Midianite women, children and property. Moses is angry that they spared the females, since they were the very people who “enticed” the Israelite men to worship Baal. He commands every boy to be slaughtered and every non-virgin woman, but the virgins can be retained as “spoils”.

The spoils of war are cleansed. This requires a new law: any utensil that can withstand fire (ie. made of metal) is cleansed using fire then water, otherwise water suffices. YHWH demands and receives an inventory of plunder (since YHWH will take a levy). This includes 16,000 remaining virgin girls. YHWH’s levy is 32 (it’s unclear whether the 32 are sacrificed or given to the priests as slaves). The soldiers bring extra voluntary offerings of gold, bracelets etc to YHWH.

The tribes of Gad and Reuben own a lot of cattle so they ask Moses if their tribal lands can be on the east side of the Jordan river (where land is more plentiful), not in Israel proper. Moses asks who will help the remaining tribes with the conquest of Israel. The tribes promise to have all fighting men cross the Jordan to help. Moses agrees and assigns the lands but says if they don’t help they’ve sinned greatly against YHWH. The two tribes capture and settle the land.

A list is given of every place where the Israelites have camped in the desert in the last 40 years since leaving Egypt. YHWH warns the Israelites to “dispossess” all the Canaanites and destroy all their idols and religious artifacts, and that if they don’t they will just remain a “thorn” on their side.

Moses spells out the boundaries of the land of Israel. YHWH wants the tribal allocations to be decided by lot. There are to be special cities for Levites throughout the land: 42 cities plus the 6 cities of refuge. The cities of refuge are for a person who has committed accidental manslaughter. They can flee to a refuge city where the victim’s avenging kin is not allowed to kill them. The court provides them safe passage to the nearest refuge city. They must stay there until the current high priest dies: if they venture outside the city bounds before, the avenger may kill them. For direct murder (eg. striking with an implement that can reasonably cause death), the avenger may kill the murderer anywhere even in these cities.

Relatives of the daughters of Zelophehad come to Moses: since the daughters inherited portions of land, if they marry someone in another tribe, these lands will pass to the other tribe and be lost from the original tribe. YHWH agrees that this is a problem and commands that if a daughter inherits land (because there were no sons), she can only marry someone in her own tribe so that the land will remain in the same tribe forever.

More From This Category

Harry Belafonte: A Life of Style and Strength

Harry Belafonte: A Life of Style and Strength

Harry Belafonte was much more than a singer and actor; he was a cultural icon who embodied both elegance and resilience throughout his life. Known for his suave style and his unwavering commitment to social justice, Belafonte’s life was a testament to the power of...

read more

0 Comments

0 Comments